


Sometimes I Text

by Emcee



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Episode: s04e02 The Lying Detective, F/M, Long-Distance Relationship, Polyamorous Character, Season/Series 04, Sherlock Texting, Spoilers, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-16 00:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9266159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emcee/pseuds/Emcee
Summary: Sometimes, Sherlock texts Irene back.





	

**IA:** Happy Birthday. Had dinner yet?

 

 **SH:** John thinks we should get married.

 

 **IA:** Excuse me?

 

 **SH:** John heard your text alert. He thinks we should have a proper relationship.

 

 **IA:** I have never done anything proper in my life.

 

 **SH:** He's grieving and wants me to have what he can't.

 

 **IA:** He does remember who I am, doesn't he?

 

 **SH:** He thinks we're in love.

 

 **IA:** Oh, he's adorable.

 

 **SH:** So I take it you don't want to move to Sussex with me to raise bees?

 

 **IA:** That's not what we do.

 

 **IA:** And you never answered my question.

 

 **SH:** I had cake.

 

 **IA:** Fulfill any other hungers?

 

 **SH:** I had my scrotum fondled.

 

 **IA:** Oh really?

 

 **SH:** I was high on a mix of cocaine and heroin and close to kidney failure. It was a medical exam.

 

 **IA:** That doesn't count.

 

 **IA:** Unless it was Doctor Watson doing the exam.

 

 **SH:** Molly Hooper.

 

 **IA:** That girl you were texting with while you were a dead man walking?

 

 **SH:** Yes.

 

 **IA:** Maybe it did count.

 

 **SH:** Maybe.

 

 **IA:** Do you ever think of Budapest?

 

 **SH:** Depends. Do you ever think of Karachi?

 

 **IA:** We should add New York to our list of memorable cities. Dinner?

 

 **SH:** Maybe when I'm out of renal failure.

 

 **IA:** Are you sure you don't want to make some memories with your doctor?

 

 **SH:** Even if either of us were so inclined, he's in mourning.

 

 **IA:** That wasn't the doctor I was thinking of.

 

 **SH:** I'm sure she's quite angry at me for shooting up.

 

 **IA:** Can I have her number then?

 

 **SH:** Woman.

 

 **IA:** I just looked up her picture. She's cute. I bet she's a screamer.

 

 **SH:** Woman.

 

 **IA:** You like her.

 

 **SH:** She is a friend.

 

 **SH:** She has also not had a sapphic experience since university.

 

 **IA:** Sounds like she's due.

 

 **SH:** No.

 

 **IA:** Well if I can't have her then you have to.

 

 **IA:** Do it for me.

 

 **IA:** Do it for yourself.

 

 **SH:** Good-night, Woman.

 

 **IA:** Next time we make a memory, bring Miss Hooper.


End file.
